Saturday, October 3, 2009


As I sit here and write this blog, the only thing that goes through my head is how I'm so, so, so

We have been through alot over the past two and a half months.
I never in a million years, thought that I would go into pre-term labor.
I never thought that my water would break at 22wks 2 days and that I would deliver my first child
at 23wks 4days.

But here I sit two and a half month later.
Happy and kind of in aww that I went through a NICU experience.
This is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

It was a struggle, not knowing what was going on with your child when you were not at the hospital with her or not knowing what was happening with her while you were there.
Every time the phone rang, not knowing if it was the hospital and if it was,
not being sure what was going to be said.

I think back on this entire experience and then I look in my left arm and there is my baby.
The baby that was said, she wouldn't make it.
But I'm holding her and spoiling her rotten!!!!! :)
I can't help but have tears in my eyes as write this with one hand and think about all of this.

I believe that we all go through certain things for a reason.
This has totally made me a different person.
I always thought that I couldn't get pregnant.
Then when it happened in 2007 and I had a miscarriage, I put in my head that something was wrong with me.  But in February I got a BFP and was scared as hell.

But Kali wanted to be here.
Spotting like a period for a hour at 6wks 2days.
My cervix opening at 15wks 5days.
Having a cerclage inserted at 16wks.
PROM at 22wks 2days.

Kali has truly lived up to her name.
She is so fiesty and love it.
I love to hear those cries, knowing that she needs and wants me.
I love to see her smile at me, I love hearing her snore!!! :)
I love changing her diapers.
I love everything!!!!
I especially love kissing on her!!!

This is such a wonderful feeling, being a mother.
I wouldn't change anything about this experience.
I would go through it again in a heartbeat.

Speaking of stories.
So this morning, I'm trying to clean Kali's nose with a bulb.
She's ok with it at first. I had to take her o2 mask out of her nose, so I set it on top of her nose.
When I tried for her nostrils again.  She woke up.
Looked at me, then took her hand and pulled down her mask and put it back in her nose.
Then, she smiled at me and went back to sleep!!!!!
Can you believe that!!! It was so cute.
So I had to leave her alone.

As of her appointment on Wednesday, she weighs 5lbs 13oz.
So she didn't gain as much as I thought, but her doctor said that, that is still a good weight gain.
Also, she went to see her eye doctor and he says that her eyes look much better than the last time.
So her next eye visit is in 4wks instead of 2wks. This is the first time that it has 4wks since she first started having her eyes checked.
So that is good news, hopefully she won't have to have eye surgery.

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