Monday, February 20, 2012

Self-esteem Issues

The title says it all!
For years I struggled with self-esteem issues as a child.  I was always the heavy and kid and for some reason people like to pick at the chunky or hefty kid.  I'm not sure why, but its something that they did and some kids still do it to others.

Til this day the names that I was called stick in my mind and now with me being at my heaviest, the memories come back as if the name calling and hurt feelings.  I was called everything from Big Perm (character on the movie Friday) to Betsy (like Betsy the cow).  While I laughed while people picked on me, deep inside I cried.  People can be cruel and knowing how they acted then makes me wonder how they raise there children.

But the point of this post is that when I look in the mirror I don't like what I see.  Now don't get me wrong I'm happy with my children, my man, school and everything in between, but my weight gets to me.  We've decided to have a healthier diet and start buying more organic food.  This means weeding out the bad and bringing in the good.  Sure it cost a whole lot more, but its worth it.  I've decided to make more things from scratch and look up recipes of foods that we would normally buy pre-made at the store.  For instance we would buy pancake mix, but I looked up a recipe and it was sooooooo much better homemade than "just add water".

So even though my self-esteem is a little low right now, I'm trying to move in the right direction to loose weight and eat healthier and teach my family healthy eating habits.  It's what we need, it's what I need.

I beleive this will help my self-esteem issues and make me happier when I look in the mirror.  It's not about what others think, but about what I think and how I feel.  I want to be able to run around the yard with my children and not feel like a slob and become out of breath after two minutes of playing.  I want to chase them around the living room and not become tired so quickly.  So it is definitely time for a change.

Change is good!!! :)

1 comment:

  1. I feel you!!! Reminds me of a blog post I did last year:

    I'm excited for ya!! You won't do anything but benefit yourself and your family by adopting a healthier way of life.. Enjoy the learning process, and let weight loss be a "side effect" of your new healthy life. You're going to feel so much better.. KUP on your journey!!