Let down!! :(

I feel like I am at a point in my life were I am being . . . . . . .
let down by those who say they care about me.  Whether it is from family or not, I feel so alone at times.  I don't have the best relationship with my mother, but it is a work in progress.  Lately I've been soooooo emotional and I know its most likely hormones, but it is all warranted.

I need to make some changes in my life and if some people get left behind, that is what has to happen.  Like sometimes I set and I observe and see how people do things.  I see how people lie and how they act as if everything is ok, when it really isn't.

So I was on YouTube and I cam across this video There is Purpose in Your Pain Pt. 1 and it really hit home with me.  It made me think about past relationships and how people have treated me.  No, I am not saying that I'm going through the same thing now, but the title just sticks in my head.  While watching and even thinking about it now I shed some tears.  It seems that these days people just care about THEMSELVES and not others, well your children if you have some.  But people seem as though they are just out to get what they want.  I say this about EVERYONE so don't get it twisted.

I'm tired of being in this rut.  Regardless how much I go shopping or do hair or do my hair, it doesn't change what is actually going on in my life and what people make me feel from day to day.

I don't know, I know I'm rambling but it's like there is soooooooo muuuuuch in my head and it's all trying to escape at once.  It's just to much to deal with sometimes, so I don't.

I have so much going on with Kali's birthday being tomorrow, we're thinking about taking her to Monkey Joe so her and her sister can have fun.  But so much to do before her party.  I'm just tired and I just want for EVERYTHING IN ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE TO BE STRAIGHT.

So much on the brain!!!!