Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A lot on my mind :)

I have a lot on mind. I can't believe that we're half way through October already.

It seems as though this year has gone by really fast. In a couple of months, our little girl will be here, that's if she decides to stay put. :) I love the fact that I feel this baby move more and more. I didn't get to experience that with Kali. Is was like as soon as I started feeling her move, my water broke and a week later she was here. She is definitely my little miracle baby. Everyone that sees her instantly falls in love with her. I mean, why wouldn't you though.

Look at her.
She is toooo cute.  My baby and she's going to be a big sister.

I don't know, lately I've been thinking more and more about Anqi.  You know, Anqi is the little girl that Joey took care of for four years and then the mother got mad at him and took her away and refuses to let him see her.  Yeah, it's a long story.  But let her tell it, it's all our fault.  Simple chicks, right?

But anyway, I know that Anqi loved Kali.  She went with us to the NICU everyday, except on the weekends, because that is when she was supposedly with her mother.  Kali has no idea who Anqi is and whose to say that Anqi even remembers Kali or anything about us.  I really wish that we could see her and spend time with her.  I don't know if I'm thinking more and more about this whole big sister thing because Anqi is Kali's big sister, but I don't know it's all just crazy.  And I know it's not pregnancy hormones.

It'll soon be coming up on a year since all of the trash went down the Michelle.  It's like all I can do is just shake my head to it all.  Maybe one day we will be able to see Anqi, but who knows.  Michelle will forever be on her crap and I'll be surprised if she proves me wrong.  I don't have time to stress, already have enough stresses in my life, but I can't help but wonder how and why people do things like that.

My focus from here on out is getting this baby to term or close to it.  I faith in myself and in my nurses and doctors who are helping me through this and the wonderful medication they have prescribed me. :)  Contractions are a *bleep* :)

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