Day 19

Kali is doing fine and getting stronger each and every day!!!

I constantly thank the Most High!!!

Kali was on medication for her heart.

When babies are born they have a duct that hasn't closed.

But after a couple of days the duct closes on its on.

In my Kali's case, the duct has not closed.

And after two rounds of the medication (total of 6 doses) hers has not closed at all.

So the next step for my Kali is to have surgery.

So, some time this week she will have heart surgery.

Her doctor reassured me that the surgery is not open heart surgery, which is what I really feared.

I am still fearful for the simple fact that she is so tiny and that there are risk with any type of surgery.

When the doctor was telling me everything I had to be so strong,

but as soon as we got off of the phone I burst into tears.

I'm so scared, but I know that this is the best thing for my Kali.

I know things will be fine and that she will recover quickly after her surgery.

Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

As a parent, you never stop to think about or would've thought that your child would ever have to go through anything like this.  Alot of parents will never have to deal with anything like this and it's hard, very hard.

Very stressful!!

Not being able to hold her or touch her (w/o gloves), or hear her cry.

Not being able to have her home with us.

I know that she is in the best place and is being taken care of by the best physicians.

I just want to scream sometimes and cry, because outside of what is going on with her, I don't have support from my sisters or my mother.  My mother may ask me how Kali is doing, but my sisters..... have NOT ONCE said anything to me or asked me how she is doing.

You know, you would think that the sister who went through the same exact thing, would be there for me, but she is not.  The only thing she has to say to me is about realizing what it's going to be like when she comes home and not being able to have a break cause you have a child, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Kali is 2wks and 1day, 25wks 6days gestation.

-Ua